I've recently been posting some images on Deviant Art and Elfwood for the capitalist purpose of reeling in visitors. Directing traffic on the matrix is, of course, a time-consuming enterprise that should be relegated to a professional geek-squad. Just give them a room full of computers, broadband, lots of time, and a bottomless supply of Red Bull, Funyuns, and Stri-Dex Pads. Frankly, it's a chore for which I am not adept. 

I'm convinced it would be easier directing traffic on the streets of Mardi Gras while enduring a terminal case of piles. After all, some of those police officers actually seem to be enjoying themselves. They look like the cop from the Village People doing the Time Warp, a dance which itself is the inbred result of Tai Chi and the Hokey-Pokey. Of course, I don't have the disposition to join the police force, and I've long ago outgrown the Time Warp, so I'm left trying to direct traffic on the web. 

There's got to be an easier way to reel in viewers.